Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
