So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
