He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Randomize
