I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
