so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
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