JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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