My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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