Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
