Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
