You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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