But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
