Im at strip club and am horny
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
