You're so nebulous sometimes
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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