what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
