Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
