Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
