I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
There r osticjed everywhere
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
