She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
