Just took my morning after pill in the library
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
