Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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