if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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