I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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