i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
