I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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