There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Randomize
