my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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