the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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