I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
