Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
