they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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