i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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