Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
