That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
