Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
