I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
