'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
