it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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