she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
