my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
It was a blind-side dick pic.
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