You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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