i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
So vagazzling was a success
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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