I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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