i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I want to make a zoo with you.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
