I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
