there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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