He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
