"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
