In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
