He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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