Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
