In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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