There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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