I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Of course I have a pirate flag
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
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