It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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