I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Randomize
