We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
