it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
