Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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