on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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