How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
