its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
