sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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