i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
