I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
