I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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