i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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