why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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