i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize