Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
