So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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